Blog #8: Viva Brazil!
Vacations have always scared me
Most people enjoy a vacation, it’s a normal response to look forward to one and even dream about it while you are still living in your daily routine. For me, it has always been something I’ve feared. The idea of leaving a schedule behind, leaving work behind and leaving friends behind makes me anxious. I would say there is probably some kind of irrational fear that my schedule will disappear, my work will fire me and my friends would forget about me. Quite extreme, I know. It made me wonder, why does that happen? Curiosity also arose as I wondered, do others feel the same? If they don’t that’s probably normal and I would say that’s a good thing. But, if they/you do, do you know why? How do you shake off that feeling?
The first part for me is to determine where this feeling is coming from and I will provide a fair warning this may be a bit much. But the feeling of loss aka FOMO is something I am aware of having. I like to be invited to going out and I like to always be a part of the crowd. If you’ve hung out with me, you know that I am energized by people, especially crowds of them. It’s this feeling of overwhelming joy and excitement that flows through me when I’m in a crowd. It’s not something that is specific to when the attention is on me, rather the community itself. I would say the tone of the crowd matters. How the crowd is in some sense will determine my response. What I don’t realize is that having these worries while on vacation will actually affect the vacation negatively and then the FOMO would occur in two places versus one. Which is worse. So, a good way to look at it is every place you’re in is a new setting with opportunity no matter where. So, if your mind is worried about missing out somewhere, you will not only miss out there but where you are currently. Of course, priority plays a part in this, but sometimes it’s okay to set aside the priority to create that opportunity in the space you are in.
The second part is that work will fire me, which is honestly a rational fear to have working in an at-will state. This will be a short explanation as I have a clear answer to this worry. If the place I work at discourages vacation or uses my leisure time as a threat, is it a place that I would even want to work at? Something that people often lose sight of is that there is always opportunity. No matter where you go. Don’t figure that if one job is misusing you but they pay you well it is worth staying. There are other well-paying jobs. I understand in some circumstances, the money outweighs the benefits and so you make those sacrifices, but for me, that is one I just won’t make. At least not right now, but hopefully never.
The final part is the most ridiculous one which is that my friends will forget about me. I should just say now, if they did, they weren’t friends. People need vacations and friends know that because they go on them as well. They understand that time is needed for that and so to worry about them forgetting you is like worrying that you’ll forget them when they go on vacation.
Okay, so thanks for getting through that with me. I’ll admit, I have had a busy week and I’m exhausted, but I wanted to write.
What I hope to get out of this vacation
Rest, rest and rest. It’s been a minute since I have been able to rest from all of life’s different challenges and commitments. This trip will remove me from them for two weeks and while I plan to focus on some things. When I’m in my daily routine, the things I focus on mainly are things that I have to. My hope is with this exposure to a new environment I want to focus on the goals and self-improvement that I want to rather than need to. Such things include:
- Reading (I’d like to read at least two whole books)
- Writing (I’d like to get started on an idea for either a book/play/screenplay)
- Habit planning (I’d like to write and schedule a daily schedule for when I come back to stick to)
- Goal planning (I’d like to focus on goals that I have and proactively plan to achieve them)
- Rest and self-renewal (I’d like to refocus my focus. Rejuvenate my being.)
- Learn and form community (In this new environment with a different culture is a great opportunity to do so)
- Meet family and cherish time with them. (This is the main reason I’m going)
- Find inspiration. (This one is hard to plan as it comes naturally.)