Blog #6: a love letter.

We are in a world where each of our lives are shared to the public, everyday. In some ways it offers blessings through the joy of keeping tabs on those close to you. But in other ways it can be harmful as we often forget the purpose and are tricked to follow a reckless pattern. That pattern being one where we idealize and desire what others have instead of appreciating or sharing what we have. This can create problems in our own lives and others such as anxiety, depression, loneliness and anger. This can then transfer to others who are either in a similar circumstance or discourage those who are not.

I am certainly guilty for feeling this way at times. Especially on days where people are celebrating certain things they have which I do not or at least things I believe I do not have. Some people will look at this and say, well here we go again with another “singleness doesn’t suck” mantra. Maybe it is. Like I’ve mentioned before, I don’t know what I’m doing on here and honestly these blogs aren’t planned or outlined and I’m sure if you read them you can tell. But, the point of this is exactly that. My intent is to just take some time out of my day when I feel I have something to say and share it in hopes you can either relate, hate or debate. If you can do one of those things, I’ve accomplished my goal. If not, then tell me what I can do and I will do my best.

I figured after a brief intro I’d like to get into what is my goal with this post. I’ve had many encounters where I’m told either “I hate being single” or “No one likes me” and they continue to drown themselves in thoughts and content that seems to fulfill that self-sabotage. It makes me question whether they just enjoy that state of mind or if they truly just don’t know what to do. Let’s be honest, we’ve all googled “how to get him/her to like me?” or at least I hope so. Otherwise, I may just be preaching to myself. But, all the advice on there seems to be the same repetitive nonsense of being confident and telling them how you feel and hope for the best. But, that’s the thing. There really isn’t a magic way to get someone to actually like you. It’s something that comes naturally or with time depending on the circumstance. If they like you and they are ready to express that, you will know and it is hopefully as simple as that. In the occasions of cat and mouse, I would bet on that behavior to continue on throughout the entirety of the relationship. So, the question is never that no one likes you. There is always someone who will like you. Most of humanity desires intimacy and with the amount of people in the world, the saying goes there ARE plenty of fish in the sea. But, then the question goes to “how do I find the right fish in the sea?”. The answer truly relies on yourself. You will attract the people that you yourself portray publicly to be. Which I hope is your true, authentic self as that will create the most fulfilling and authentic connections. The truth is, you have to love yourself before you love anyone else. You have to get to know who you are, what you believe, what values you hold and boundaries you’ve set to attract those who share similar processes. Once you’ve done that, the rest falls into place because others see that and recognize that and there will be ones who are attracted to that, whatever it may be.

I feel like I’ve turned this into a “how to find a s/o post” instead of honestly trying to express why it is important to love yourself and to be 100% authentically you because that is the greatest gift you can give. Valentine’s day can be discouraging for some as they see it as a day of loss or loneliness but instead I believe it is a day of opportunity. This is the one day of the year you know whether that one person you’re interested in is single or not. I’m just kidding, lol. But, it is an opportunity to go and take yourself out. Which sounds cheesy but it works. If you take yourself out, treat yourself right with respect and love, you are automatically preparing yourself for the time when there is someone else in the picture as well. But, treating yourself right doesn’t mean going out to a five star restaurant and ordering a steak dinner for two while rehearsing lines to prepare yourself for that future date. It means doing what you love, trying out new things or going to new places. It means taking time to ask yourself questions about yourself and writing down the answers. You can find them anywhere, but to save you time, I’ve linked a few here. It means writing down goals or dreams and it means sharing them aimlessly on some weird blog for your friends to see and laugh at.

My hope for you today is this. I know this post seems to be directed to those who are single, but it’s not. This is for anyone and everyone. You could be in a relationship right now and you just don’t get along with yourself and I can guarantee you whether you know it or not it does have an effect. My hope is that today can be a reminder for you to give yourself the love and intentionality you need to for your life. That whatever someone else’s life may look like, that you can encourage them but also encourage yourself. Don’t lose sight of who you are and don’t let others either because there is something special you hold that no one else does and if you don’t share it, we’ll all be missing out. Take the time to know who you are, love who you are and express that.

I know I’m a weird guy and I know I do a lot of crazy things. But, that is something I love even though at times I know it can be bit too much and needs to be withheld at times. But, I’m asking you to be weird with me. Not only today. The reason why I write this today is because I feel like this is one of those days where you can easily forget that. Instead, be weird with me everyday. If you’re like everyone else, then you’re not weird. So, be weird and I promise you this, I will be weird too.

If it couldn’t get any more cheesy…I really appreciate you and I really love you for who you are. I would love to hear from you and get the chance to get any kind of input, if not about the blog then anything at all. Just send me a message. Until then, you know the drill. Stay classy 🙂